Wanted: A man or woman committed to raising a child. Must be willing to work weekends and holidays. All employees are required to be on call 24-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week. Hours can vary depending on company circumstances—overtime and some midnight shifts are mandatory. Must have ability to multitask and possess excellent organizational and management skills. Problem solving skills are a real plus. Experience in child development, psychology, sociology, biology, nutrition, finance, education, purchasing, accounts payable, and business administration are helpful but not necessary. We are willing to train enthusiastic new hires. However, a current driver’s license is required for daily courier duties. Benefits include happy, healthy, well-adjusted children. NOTE: If hired, a minimum eighteen-year contract and $200,000 investment are required. Pay and benefits may or may not be commensurate to experience. Only the most serious, dedicated, and knowledgeable candidates need apply.
If the job of parenting were listed in the help wanted ads, no one would apply. The fact is parenting can sometimes be a thankless job. Let’s face it, wanting the best for your child means working incredibly hard for seemingly no compensation; and though the rewards of parenting are realized in due time, it does not make the initial task any easier. From pregnancy through those tumultuous teenage years, information, knowledge, and patience are the keys to success.
No two pregnancies and no two children are alike. If you are pregnant with your first child, you undoubtedly have many questions. Or perhaps, as a veteran child-bearer with a house full of children, you are well aware of the process. Either way, waiting for that new arrival is an amazing and an amazingly hectic time. Between the strange food cravings, the rollercoaster of physical changes and emotions, and that increasing feeling you will be pregnant forever, you still have many decisions to make.
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